There Is A Better Way To Communicate: 3 Easy Hacks
Sure, Yeah, Okay: Stories Conducive to "Making It Work" Online and Offline is a NEW column by Nicole Best, Social + Influencer Manager at culture marketing firm, Matte Black.
She's here to share monthly stories and tips on "making it work" for your creative business both offline and online.
We hear it all the time: Communication is key. If you find yourself looking for ways to improve your relationships through better communication, try these tips!
(1) First things first, at networking events or any situation where you’re meeting new people, ask, “Where are you originally from?” as opposed to “What do you do?”
A) This allows you to connect on a more personal level. We get caught up in this idea that we need to be around people who will do something for us. But we need to start going to events – networking or otherwise – with the mindset that meeting one solid human being is a good outcome, as opposed to ten iffy ones.
B) Asking someone where they are originally from opens up a bevvy of talking points. Maybe he or she is from your hometown? In which case, you have a lot to dive right into. Maybe she’s from a neighboring city? Cue the rival banter. Or maybe he is from somewhere you’ve never been before but have always wanted to go to. Now you can ask an unending amount of questions relevant to that persons’ experiences there and boom, you’re fast friends.
If you simply ask a person you’ve just met, “What do you do?” you’re immediately pigeonholing them into one topic without a ton of movement, unless they work in the same industry as you. Too often in LA we’re caught up with what someone else does and how they can help you get to where you want to go. But who do we fight for the most when it comes to jobs, events or otherwise? Our friends. So first and foremost, we should try to create lasting, sustainable relationships with people no matter where they work. Because at the end of the day, that person you meet who’s a UX designer for an engineering company, is friends of a friend at a fashion company you love. You might not know this right away, but you never know who someone knows so try to make genuine connections first, the networking will follow.
(2) When you’re in an argument with someone, say one of two things to open the lines of communication:
-I understand why you are feeling that way
-I'm sorry you feel that way
When you do this, you aren’t admitting you’re right or wrong. You are, however, acknowledging the other person’s feelings, validating them in some way. This will then enable you to explain where you’re coming from and resolve whatever conflict has surfaced.
(3) And last but not least, the key to effective communication is to stay present. (Ha, you thought I was going to say “listening” didn’t you.) How often do we say hi to someone and they immediately respond, “good.” This person was obviously not present, and consequentially, didn’t even listen to what you said.
How often are you speaking with your boss and you're so nervous to say the right thing that you don’t hear the original question? Too often we are trying to craft the most perfect response that it’s hard to stay present when speaking to someone. Because when you stay present, look someone in the eye and take it all in, you are able to become a more effective listener and ultimately, craft a more genuine response to whatever is being said.
So hack away at communication. Be sure to remain present, be genuine in your self and your reactions and know that it’s okay if you don’t get along with someone or you and another person just don’t click. We don’t have to be best friends with everyone we meet, we just have to understand where they are coming from and go from there.
Written by Nicole Best